I suppose in my life, I've been pretty lucky. I live in a house, I have dogs and friends and I go to school. Yet, as many people do, I looked for more. I yearned for danger and not the infinity of routine. A boy met me, and I met him. The next 5 years were hectic because we were oblivious to the fact that we were not a compatible couple, or even friends really. We were destructive and abusive in so many ways. We were never even officially a couple, we were people who loved each other but couldn't stand commitment. He fell in love with another woman, I fell in love with another man. We drifted after awhile, though I should have seen love cannot drift so easily, but I was naive. Even though we saw other people, we still loved each other. By coincidence we saw each... [Read More]
Tags: Death, Girl, Boy, Depression, Murder, Drugs, Sad, Homeless, Heartbreak, Love, Hate, MemoriesI was born the third of three children and the only boy. My mother had my sister when she was 18. My mother started leaving at night and staying out until morning according to my father and so they divorced when I was about 2 but they kept trying at it even after that until I was around 5. After they ended it for good we lived at my dads parents home for a while until he had secured him his own home in which we could live in. We lived with our mom while my dad figured out his living situation. While there she married a man named Kenneth. He was stern and sometimes would abuse my mother and myself and my sisters. My oldest sister got into a fight with him one night and moved out to my dads house after Kenneth slapped her across the face. My... [Read More]
Tags: Depression, Death, Suicide, Alone, Sad, Family, LoveHigh School, they say it is the best times of your life. They say you make friends and you find your own little place, and you walk on the path to the rest of your life. High School, they said it was such a glorious place. It looks so great on the television. They glamorize it and ignore those who are hurting. They ignore the outcasts. High School is great if you know what you want to do for the rest of your life. Too bad that's not me. I'm the type of girl who hates it here. I look different, I listen to non-mainstream music. I get weird looks, and people whisper. To them I look like a psycho who lost it. But the sad reality, I'm just like those judgmental people. I keep to myself now-a-days. I try to think of the happier days, the days when I... [Read More]
Tags: Bullied, Suicide, Hurt, Judged, Fitting In, Outcast, Sad, Alone, DepressionHi. Have you ever had that feeling that one day you're on top of the world? That you don't care what anyone says? Well I never ever ever had that feeling. I have always felt like nothing and nobody cares about me in the world. But who cares right? Always been the one who follows not leads. Always have to follow 'popular people' around and let them pick on me tell them I'm ugly and don't matter to the world. But who cares right? Even my family makes me feel like that. Be that one girl that puts a smile on her face every day and makes it look like shes having fun. I've never dated anyone, no one thinks I'm pretty. But who cares? Maybe if people start to get to now me they'll know I'm smart, I'm funny, and I'm nice. But no body gives me a chance.But... [Read More]
Tags: Sad, Unloved, Alone, Depression, Sadness, LonelyEach of these was too short to submit by itself, so here are the three as one story. Besides being written by the same person, they are not related to each other. They were meant to be read as individual pieces of writing, each telling a small piece of my life. I have more written, and I will upload them soon. I call them, all together, "Reflections" Thanks for reading! PRETEND And so I left. After all the tears, after all the hours spent pouring out my life, it was over. We said goodbye lightly and quickly, all pretending not to understand. After each quick goodbye, though they smiled, their eyes told a different story. They knew, as I did, what this was. Goodbye - for good. I was going. And I knew what would happen. Like everyone else, I would be talked about for a while and remembered for... [Read More]
Tags: Moving, Leaving Friends, Crying, Loss, Depression, Grief, Death, SuicideThere is a boy that really likes me. I like him too. He always tell me he wants to be my boyfriend but I keep telling no he can't. But he still insists. He didn't know I liked him and that's why he thinks I say no when he makes a preposition to be with me; And that is when I explained why we could not be together. I told him that I was in love with him and that I would willingly get into a relationship with him in a heartbeat but the problem is my dad. He got very vexed with me and stopped talking to me for a couple of days. My dad doesn't want me to have a boyfriend and if I get one he's going to kick me out of the house. If he kicks me out of the house my godfather would hurriedly take... [Read More]
Tags: Love, Depression, Waiting, Family, SadSo, get this. I was sitting around my house, listening to sad songs that any other time would make me cry. Why did I want to cry? Because of the worst mistake I have ever made and how numb I had come to most everything in my life. Here is my story (perhaps it's not the saddest, but I think that maybe if I just tell someone I'll maybe be able to actually feel something again besides depression, and since I'm too embarrassed about it to tell anyone in public, why not tell people who have no idea who I am, right?) BEWARE: I'm Pouring my heart out right now so it will be long. Don't feel obligated to read it all. But if you do, I hope you learn from my mistake. So, I've always been a shy person, I'm not the popular kid at school. Don't get me... [Read More]
Tags: True Story, Depression, Sad, Betrayal, Love, Long Distance, Hurt, Alone, PainWell I guess it all started off last year when my friend committed suicide. No one knew why and I blame myself completely as her best friend, I should have noticed but I didn't. Soon after my parents got divorced. For years the only thing I'd asked them is "will you ever get divorced" because I couldn't bear the thought of losing a family life and they always said "no" but I realize now that the answer was yes, they were just waiting until I was older. People say the older you are the more it affects you because you get so used to living as 1 family in that lifestyle. My mum says that they didn't divorce earlier because they thought it would hurt us more (us being my brother and I). My mum was wrong. I don't love my parents for the way they treat me, as a... [Read More]
Tags: Suicide, Depression, Unloved, Sad, Lonely, AloneHello, Dear Reader. Today, I will tell you about the Tale of It. Who is "It", you ask? Why, I will not tell you. You must have patience and I will tell you. Now, why don't we get on with the story? This story starts on a warm summer day, reader. It was summer and the birds are singing and the flowers are dancing and the winds are swimming. It was a normal summer day. And X wasn't happy. No, he/she wasn't. X was sad. No matter how many times X's friends and family tried to cheer It up. Nothing worked. he/she drowned out the sounds and ignored all the feelings of happiness. Yes, reader. X didn't want happiness. X felt nothing but pain. A crushing, bleeding pain. All in X's heart. You see, he/she did have happiness once. X had happiness with X's loved one. They loved each other,... [Read More]
Tags: Sad, Death, Suicide, Depression, Alone, Life, PainI haven't. In fact, I was never meant to be alone, but that changed when I was too young to remember. I lost my twin when I was about one year old. But I didn't know it. So this is how I was until a year or so ago: I developed a huge fear of losing a loved one, even though I wasn't aware of having ever lost anyone. that caused my OCD. So with those recurring anxieties, I was stressed, tired and afraid and always alone, even when I was with others. I was making it by, like other OCD sufferers, when I learned that I had lost my twin sister at a very early age. I overheard it, and after some dis belief, and digging around through my parents things, I found a few photos. I was forced to face my dead sister. That day I became an... [Read More]
Tags: Death, Family, Depression, Insomnia, True Story, Missing, Loneliness, Sad, Pain