I am no stranger to pain. It's an endless struggle, like walking on an endless path with no known destination. I used to be optimistic. I used to always love myself and all of the people important to me. But... 5 years ago a great evil ruined my life. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. It doesn't matter how optimistic I want to be or how much I want to just enjoy my day and be with my friends or family. Depression, caused by a chemical imbalance took hold of me. It all started on my 18th birthday. My mother set up a party at a Japanese hibachi grill: my favorite restaurant. Not only that, but I was surprised by five of my best friends! They were there waiting for me! I was having the best time of my life! And then I was sad. I don't know why... [Read More]
Tags: Depression, Lost, Alone, Sad, Pain6 years ago I was abused. My parents got divorced cause my dad threw my mom across the hall and she hit a wooden toy box. My sister got choked against a wall. I tried to stop him and he pushed me down.My sister's actually my cousin but her parents are dead and in a looney bin. I am his only daughter. He's changed. He's remarried. He promised me if he ever got married I would be the first to know. I didn't know till I got a text. "She said yes!" My mom's boyfriend hits my sister and the government got into it. Oh so much help. Now today I come home everyday to verbal abuse called a bitch or fat ass. Then my mom wonders why I don't talk to her. Today, Halloween, I went to school with make up on. I cried on the bus. The gym.... [Read More]
Tags: Abuse, Failure, Fake, Tears, Sucide, Sad, Girl, DepressionWhy? Why did he just completely avoid me the whole day? I sat in my room deep in thought. Maybe he just needed time with his guy friends, or maybe-. Tears began to run down my pale skin before I could finish. Who am I kidding? We've been dating for five months, he's probably going to break up with me. I woke up the next morning shaking. Today was the day he was leaving me and I can't even think of a thing I did to make him end things. *Time Skip; At School* I walked into school as pain pierced my heart like a blade. There he was talking to some random girl. Is she why he's breaking up with me? He turned and saw me and walked over to where I stood. "Hey Melanie," he smiled at me making me want to scream knowing he was playing me.... [Read More]
Tags: Cheater, Love, Bullying, Depression, Unloved, Betrayal, Sad, GirlI used to think about you for 2 years since I saw you for the first time. You were always there, staring at me & have special behavior; and it made my friends derided you & think about that what is wrong with you. Were you really in love with me????? My friends thought so. Every where in our school was a debate about you & I ; because you were very special. But I just thought, How can you love me when I'm a religious person & you don’t seem so ; and also I had no wonderful beauty &attract ? ….. We never talked or contacted since the first for 3 month. The day after “new year’s holidays” at school, suddenly 2 of my friends came to me and called me with excited voice. I asked them what is wrong and they conducted me by themselves. When we... [Read More]
Tags: Betrayal, Sadness, Depression, Selfish, Suffering, SuicideSo there was this new kid that moved here. He was kinda a bad kid. but once you got to know him. He was pretty cool. I thought I'd never have a chance with him.. then the summer after he moved here we were hanging out and he told me he liked me. We grew closer as time went by and he asked me out. of course I said yes, I had fallen in love with him the minute he moved here.... He has had a hard home life and one night we were laying there and he was telling me about his family and stuff that has happened and he started crying... It made me feel good that he could talk to me about these things. Because he couldn't talk to anyone else about them.. His dad was kind of abusive and his mom never really listened. I was... [Read More]
Tags: Depression, Cutting, Selfharm, Love, Breakup, Alone, Depressed, Waiting, Sex, Heartbroken, Lost, True StoryI'm now a 16 years girl, who lives in a small town in a small country ..Being in a small town, it's worse than you people can imagine...This is a small story of my life...I was born on December after my two sisters,the fact that I was born a girl didn't liked to my family coz they wanted a boy,so when they see me they said : 'just like the others'(just like my sisters,a girl)...this fact made my life a hell..the fact that my family cried when I was born,made my heart broken and I always felt like I disappointed them for what I was...From this fact,when I was 10-14 years old I tried to be a boy by wearing my brother's clothes(the brother who was finally born)and have the behavior of a boy by doing rude things listening to rap like crazy (things that here in my town isn't... [Read More]
Tags: Hurt, Heartbroken, Pain, Unloved, Tears, Depression, Girl, Cut, Love, Betrayal, SadnessTHIS IS FROM MY FRIEND'S VIEWPOINT... Hey..my name is Michelle, people call me Michie. But I'm not here to tell you about my name. I think crushes are stupid. I really do,love to me sounds like a painful threat. I never wanna get involved. Its just that I thought I found my prince charming, his name was Kim. He loved to skateboard, just like I did. He made me cry once but he also used to made me laugh, it was weird and stupid at the same time. I was getting paranoid about whether he liked me or not.. So,the next day I tried to talk to him.He's always teasing me,but we weren't exactly best friends.You see our parents and other families get together to just chillax and party you know and talk about the community. Our families have been doing that for like four years. So me and Kim... [Read More]
Tags: Love Stinks, Depression, Unloved, CrushedI fell in love with this guy, He's 21 and I'm 18. Every time we got together I fell more and more in love with him. We would text each other everyday. While I was on vacation in Oklahoma, that was when I started to fall for him. He was the only guy I felt completely safe with. In his arms, when he holds me I felt so content. When other boys would hug me, I never felt that way. He knew how to make me laugh and how to make me smile. we slept together, not in a sexual way. We just cuddled next to each other, and fell asleep. One day after I slept at his house. He was gonna go shopping with this girl AKA his best friend. He told me things like I would be the first girl he would take on a date, how I'm... [Read More]
Tags: Sad, True Story, Heartbroken, Pain, Breakup, Alone, Tears, Betrayal, Sorrow, Memories, Hope, Hurt, Depression, UnYou close your eyes and count to 3. When you open them you hope things are ok. But when you open your eyes it’s all still here. I hate you! You try to walk away but it follows. Always negative, always there. I wish I was dead! A new day a new start. Wrong. Still there, still hating. Ill just run away then! Your angry now, all this negativity is rubbing off on you. You lash out and everything you want to say comes out. SHUT UP! You don’t know what you’re on about. You have a lot more than you think. You’re lucky, try living someone else’s life for a day! But it doesn't end. I don’t care! I’ll be better somewhere else anyway. The argument never ends. It continues never getting old. Do the dishes No! Now! I hate you! You can’t help it your angry, too angry.... [Read More]
Tags: FAMILY, DEPRESSION, SORROW, ALONE, SADIt was a Tuesday, the day it happened. The day I made the biggest mistake of my life. It happened when me and my beloved wife Olivia got into an argument and even threw around the word divorce. Which now breaks my heart from all we had been through of a 16 year relationship, a 11 year marriage, and having an 8 year old beautiful daughter named Sarah. When I first met Olivia it was love at first sight and from there on out we were never apart. So now thinking about this fight brings me to tears. Sarah who had been listening to the whole fight and couldn't bare to hear it especially after hearing the word divorce made her start bursting into tears in her room. Once I had enough of the argument I barged out and just before I slammed the door shut I heard my daughter... [Read More]
Tags: Love, Heartbreak, Suicide, Pain, Depression, Death, Sadness